Wednesday 9th March 2011
I really started today in a bit of a disappointed and angry slump. I didn't get much sleep last night and I came to a huge realisation that I have kind of known about for a while but this was a definitely light bulb moment for me. I know that I sing to a different tune to most people and that my way of dealing with things is a bit out of the norm but I have finally worked out that this is okay and I don't have to apologise for my individuality anymore!!
This blog has not only helped me stay on the physical exercise track but it has also help me to put things into persepective. I don't want to use this to air any dirty laundry and I will never talk about or refer to anyone elses thoughts, views or feelings but I will continue to blog my journey for myself. I am not a beauty pageant in need of a judge I am just a regular person (a bit on the different side) trying to work out life and not make too many mistakes!
Last week when I was called into the doctors about my test results I did the normal overreaction and automatically thought the worst. Upon finding out what information he had to tell me (in between the kids arguing the whole way through it) I was totally confused. The only words I heard were "incurable" and "it's hereditary so you could pass it onto your kids". That scared the total shit out of me!! Thanks to this blog I got reassurance from places and friends that I hadn't seen in a such a long time and it really touched me that they made the effort to let me know that it's not as bad as I had let it become!! I know know that apart from the whole having to have needles that it's not a such a big deal. Usually I would've worked myself up into such a state with worst case scenarios and driven myself and everyone nuts!!
I am grateful to everyone who is a part of my life whether it be through reading this or in my day to day friendships. I enjoy every walk, every laugh, every coffee and every shoe we shop for together!!
Gees this forced retirement could get quite dangerous I am now learning to think again!!! lol
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