Friday, October 19, 2012

A Positive Year - Day 269

Day 269

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner - Lao Tzu

I read this quote the other day and it really made me think!  It was like a slap across the face confirming exactly how I have been feeling for a while now. 

Growing up I wasn't a very confident person.  I was an annoying people pleaser and a total sook!  During my teen years and into early adulthood I had a group of friends who liked me for me and Iwas so confident and had so much fun and didn't give two hoots what anyone thought of me! 

Once I had my first daughter all my old insecurities started to weave their way back into my head.  It was especially noticeable when she started back at school and I was thrown into a very new and very judgemental environment!  I am sure all mums would understand what I am talking about!  I thought I had to try and please everyone and be friends with everyone to make my daughter's schooling experience better.  How wrong I was!!  I tied myself up in knots for years and for what!!  Between that and my busy job I stressed myself into a very bad state emotionally and then I got very sick.

Finally I had a lightbulb moment!

It took my hitting rock bottom to realise that it was me that dug the hole!  I sat back and focussed on my family and the few close friends who have always been there for me and saw things through completely different eyes.  I finally got to see things clearly!

I am now a prisoner to no one!  I worked out that I don't care what other people think!  I am happy with who I am.  I am comfortable with the crazy behaviour and I am not sorry for sucking it up and getting on with my life and I will stand up for myself whenever I have to regardless of the outcome!  I am finally back to the carefree person that I was as a young adult and my family and I are so much better for it!!

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